


wake me up when september ends

by wonderwrath



Series: Supercorp - Oneshots [8]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alot of angst, F/F, I AM SORRY, I promise, Married Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, i dont know what gotten into me, it has a happy ending, its angst, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 16:09:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17625518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderwrath/pseuds/wonderwrath
Summary: Supergirl was dead. The news spread faster than wildfire.Phones kept ringing, messages been sending all around the world, only one person kept quiet - Lena.ORSupergirl dies fighting Reign, leaving her wife Lena behind, who needs to find a way to deal with the loss of the love of her life.





	wake me up when september ends

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry. All mistakes are mine.

Supergirl was dead.

The news spread faster than wildfire.

Phones kept ringing, messages been sending all around the world, only one person kept quiet.

_Lena._

The brunette was standing in the DEO, looking at Kara. She didn’t listen to anything or anyone, the only thing she focused on was her wife, her beautiful wife who was brutally beaten up. Alex tried to get her back for hours, the whole team did. Superman came back from the dead, but somehow Kara didn’t. She was dead, but no one dared to say it out loud. No one in here wanted to believe it, Supergirl always came back. No matter where she went or how badly she got injured, she always came back, but today she wouldn’t. The monitor was still on, and Lena listened to the monotonous tone that told her, that her wife would not come back home to her. But she didn’t believe it, none of this made any sense. She woke up next to her, the slept together, had a shower, made breakfast, had lunch, they kissed; she couldn’t believe that this would be it, that she had to go home with no one waiting for her, no one to hold, no one to kiss.

Five years.

The universe gave Lena Kara for five years and thought that was enough?

Lena was just standing there, she couldn’t move, unable to hold Kara’s hand. Alex tried to talk to her when they lost her, realising that Lena needed a moment. It has been two hours since Lena was left alone, looking at the love of her life. She didn’t understand what was happening. Kara left like she always did and now she would not come back? Was that some type of sick joke? She probably had one of her nightmares. That would be it. This was a nightmare and maybe in another two hours she would wake up, looking into her favourite pair of blue eyes.

But when Alex came back, she realised that she was wrong. Maggie was waiting outside, both looked like they have been crying. Alex eyes were red and her voice sounded so different, so broken.

“Lena, she can’t stay here.”

“When is she coming home?” Lena was in trance, waiting for Kara to wake up.

Alex had to look back to Maggie, unable to find the right words. What should she say? She was in shock herself but Lena completely shut down.

“Lena, Kara is…she is dead.”

The red head took a step back when Lena turned her head around. “SHE IS NOT DEAD.”

She started to lose herself, every emotion falling down on her. “She promised me that she will come back. I let her go because she promised me she will come back. She promised.”

“Lena I am so sorry.” Maggie put her hand on Alex back, trying to give her some type of support, while Alex tried to find a way to support Lena.

“NO!”

It took five DEO Agents to take Lena Luthor down after she realised that her wife wouldn’t come back to her. When she woke up, she realised that her life was over. They gave her Kara’s wedding ring and Lena couldn’t believe that she would go home with a piece of jewellery. It wasn’t home anymore, it was just a house.

She left, walking all the day back to her house, holding onto Kara’s ring with her dear life and when she walked through the door, she fell on her knees and started crying. Everything smelled and reminded her off Kara. The blonde decorated the whole house; it always was her thing, never Lena’s. Her coffee cup was still on the table, her discarded clothes next to window.

* * *

 

_“Please Kara, don’t go.”_

_Kara already ripped her shirt and trousers of, stepping into her boots._

_“I have to. She is killing innocent people Lena.”_

_“Promise me that you will come back.”_

_She laid her hands on the family crest, when Kara pulled her into a kiss._

_“I always come back to you. I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

* * *

For two weeks Lena didn’t leave the house, answered her phone or even ate. She wore Kara’s clothes, hugging her pillow every second of the day; unable to watch anything else than all the videos she used to take. She couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t believe that she would never hear her laugh again, never see that smile of hers. Every time when Kara told her that she loved her, she said it back, replaying it so many times to try to remember every feature of her face.

_“Say it again.”_

_“I love you Lena Luthor.”_

She tried to kill herself. A life without Kara was not life at all. She couldn’t go back to that dark place again, so she decided she would find a way to follow Kara. She couldn’t physically hurt herself. She thought about jumping out of the window, it was fast and easy, but when she was sitting there, she realised she couldn’t, that she was too much of a coward. She surrounded herself with all the knives they had in the kitchen, but she couldn’t, so she started drinking. No food and too much alcohol should do the trick. Lena took some pills to help the process and then she saw her, Kara, right in front of her, like nothing happened.

“Lena you have to stop.”

Lena looked away, not wanting to get tricked again. Kara was dead, she accepted the fact, and this was just her mind playing tricks.

“Lena, please stop.”

“Why? You left me. I have nothing to live for anymore.”

Kara took her face in both of her hands. Lena could feel her touch, part of her could, but she tried to shake it off. This was not real, it couldn’t be.

“It’s not your time honey. I am sorry that I lied to you. I will come and get you when it’s your time Lena. Please stop.”

“What am I supposed to do without you?”

“Change to world.”

“I can’t do it without you.”

“Yes you can. I never leave your side. I love you and I am so proud of you. “

“I love you Kara. God I love you so much.”

“I will come back for you I promise.”

Then she leaned in for a kiss and Lena hold onto her with everything she had. If that would be there last kiss, then she wanted to make it last.

Kara was gone when Lena open her eyes again.

The next day she went back into the office. People mumbled behind closed doors, no one could believe that Lena Luthor was back, so shortly before her wife’s funeral. Jess was fidgeting, not knowing how to act around her boss. Lena was tired, she was paler, thinner and had dark circles under her eyes that not even her make up could completely cover. And Jess could hear Kara’s voice in her head, to make sure she ate, so she popped into her office and asked her three times if she wanted breakfast, until Lena took a deep breath and finally looked up.

“Jess I appreciate your concern, but please don’t. Please don’t make me regret hiring you. All I want is to go back how things were, without any awkward tension because of that incident that happened.”

* * *

 

Supergirl funeral was phenomenal. Most citizens of National City paraded outside. The Mayor asked Lena if she wanted to participate but she said no. She couldn’t mourn Kara twice, people mumbling behind her back, why it was so hard for her to let Supergirl go.

She didn’t help Alex and Eliza sort everything out for the funeral. She paid, but that’s all she could do. Lena couldn’t wait for the day when she was done changing the world, when she would see Kara again. She didn’t see herself with another woman, having children with someone else other than Kara. Kara was everything she ever wanted; thinking about what music or flowers she wanted for her funeral was nothing Lena could burden herself with.

Lena knew that she had to go to the funeral, but accepting again that her wife died was nothing she was prepared for. She didn’t say anything nor did she cry. Big dark sunglasses hide her eyes, a big hat covering most of her face. Her face was cold and clenched, she could not bear to look at Eliza, strangely reminding her of Kara, or Alex, who tried so hard to warm Lena up, even just a little bit, but she couldn’t. Looking at the lifeless body of Kara got her attention. She looked so peaceful and Lena was waiting for her to jump up. She focused on her face, not listening to anything anyone said. When it was done and everyone wanted to say their goodbyes, Lena went in front after Alex, facing her worst nightmare. With the sunglasses in her hand, she carefully put Kara’s wedding ring back on. She looked at her, one last time, caressing her cold cheek, saying goodbye to the love of her life and when she felt that she was close to losing herself, she turned around and walked away, ignoring the calls to her name, telling her driver to get her back to L-Corp.

* * *

 

_“And who are you exactly?”  
_

_“Um I'm Kara Danvers. I'm not with the Daily Planet. I'm with CatCo magazine. Sort of.”  
_

_“It's a publication not known for its hard-hitting journalism. More like “High-waisted Jeans, Yes or No?"  
_

_Kara was mesmerized by the woman in front of her and so was Lena, but she was busy biting Clarks head off. The blonde couldn’t even say anything, her mouth stood open. If she ever doubted her sexuality she knew for sure now that she wanted to wake up next to Lena every day, looking into those stunning green eyes every minute of her life.  
_

_“I'm just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside of her family. Can you understand that?”  
_

_“Yeah.” Lena looked at her and Kara stopped breathing. She wanted to ask her out, but she wasn’t part of the conversation and not good at asking people out. Kara would only stutter and Lena would most likely tell her to never come back.  
_

_“I hope this isn't the last time we talk.”  
_

_“I hope not either.”_

_She regretted it the second Clark dragged her out._

* * *

 

She ignored Alex calls for the next weeks. Lena locked her former house and moved into L-Corp. There was no point to go anywhere anyway, all she did was work. Everything reminded her of Kara. Her office, her desk, the couch, even in her lab she could see her. She couldn’t enter CatCo anymore, the sight of Kara’s empty desk made her feel so sick, she turned around and never came back.

Jess struggled to watch Lena working herself into the ground, but she respected her wishes. There was no one as stubborn as Lena Luthor.

One day Alex marched into her office and Lena almost threw her laptop at her.

“You can’t just walk in here Alex.” She tried to sort her papers out, completely ignoring the older woman in her office.

“Yes I can! You are ignoring my calls, my text, don’t open the door. I am worried about you, believe it or not.”

“I needed a break and I also moved out.”

“From what? Me? Her? And why did you move out? You love that house.”

“It was Kara’s house, it was never mine. And I don’t want a reminder every day of what I lost.”

“What are you talking about?”

Alex was a force of nature while Lena was calm. She was calm on the outside, professional; it looked completely different on the inside.

“You are a walking reminder of her; I don’t need that type of distraction in my life right now.” Kara was adopted but she had a lot of sayings and face expressions that she copied form her bigger sister and Lena saw it now more than ever.

“You try to forget her.” The accusation hit Lena right in her heart.

“No I don’t. I can’t forget her. Every time when I close my eyes all I see is her.”

“Then what are you doing Lena?”

“Trying to keep my company alive. I can’t go back to where I was. I don’t need daily reminders of Kara and the life I used to have. I lost everything and nothing will ever fill the hole. I don’t have the time to try to soothe a pain I know I never get over with.”

“You are not alone Lena, you don’t have to be.”

“I like it that way.”

“I hope you know that I won’t give up on you.”

“I don’t expect anything else from my wife’s bigger sister.” There was a slight movement on her face, a start of a smile but her mouth never really moved.

“I will talk to Jess to make sure that you eat. You don’t look healthy Lena. You can stay with me and Maggie if you like, just for a few days.” There it was the spike of jealously. Alex had Maggie to go through all that, while Lena had no one. She chooses to have no one, because she was angry and so damn heartbroken. Kara gave her a family and friends, she gave her a home and Lena felt like everything got ripped away from her.

“Thank you but I am really busy.”

Alex nodded in acknowledgement, turning on her heels, when she had another thought.

“She is defeated, just in case you haven’t watched the news.”

Lena knew that Alex was talking about Reign. God did it really matter? If Lena wanted revenge she could have killed her herself, but nothing will bring Kara back.

“Does it really matter?”

“It does, Mon El and...”

“Don’t.” Lena snapped, it was the last thing she needed to hear. Yes it was good the Reign was defeated, for the sake of the Earth but mentioned the Legion was the last topic Lena wanted to talk about.

“Why?”

“I don’t need a reminder that the legion came back from the future to prevent this from happening and yet Supergirl died fighting Reign, just to defeat her _after_ my wife died in a fight she couldn’t win in the first place. And I let her go, because I believed in her and I still do, she was my symbol of Hope, she made me believe that I am worthy to be loved, but they let her down, like she was not worth the risk. She was too good for this world and they let her down. So I don’t care if Reign is still alive or not, the Legion still failed because Kara is buried six feet underground.”

“You can’t blame them Lena time travel is...”

“And yet I do!”

The brunette jumped out of her chair, showing more emotions in this moment than she did in the last month.

“Don’t send him my way because I will shoot him. Alex, I appreciate your concern but I don’t want to hear anything about the legion, the DEO or hear about memories from Kara. I am still looking at my phone, wondering why she hasn’t text me just to realise that she is in fact dead. So please, just accept the fact that you cannot help me, not this time Alex. I am sorry but that’s all I can give you now.”

In a way Lena was indeed sorry because she know how Alex must feel, not the slightest better than Lena, but she wasn’t strong enough to look after her, barely keeping herself alive.

“You have family Lena, whenever you are ready we are here, I am here for you. You are my sister Lena and I won’t let you suffer on your own.”

* * *

 

_“ Miss Luthor.“  
_

_“Lena please.”  
_

_“It's good to see you again, Miss Danvers.”  
_

_“Well, if I'm calling you Lena…”  
_

_“Kara it is.”  
_

_Kara loved how Lena said her name and when she kept talking about her new device that partly scared her, she realised how much passion this woman in front of her had. She barely listened to anything the brunette had to say to her, mindlessly taking the notes when it hit her.  
_

_“Go out with me!” Kara blurted the words out, starting to blush when she saw Lena’s shocked face.  
_

_“Oh god I am so sorry. I…I don’t know what came over me. I am so sorry Miss Luthor; I should…my god I should go.”  
_

_Kara grabbed her stuff, dropping her phone, stumbling towards the door.  
_

_“Wait.” The blonde stopped in her tracks unable to turn around.  
_

_“Dinner, tonight?” Lena asked, so soft that Kara had to turn around to make sure it was from the same person who talked so passionate about her work.  
_

_They shared their first kiss that night and Kara knew that she was going to marry Lena Luthor._

* * *

 

“Mister Edge, Mister Edge!” Jess chased after Morgen Edge, who walked into her office like he owned this place.

“I have a meeting with…Lena, now look at you.” Lena sighed when she saw his face. God she hate his face.

“I believe I told you never to come back to L-Corp and it is Misses Luthor, we are not on first name base her Mister Edge.”

She gestured Jess to leave, that it was okay, for now.

“Still? I thought the Misses died in a tragic accident?”

Lena clenched her jaw, looking down at her papers to not cause a scene over this.

“I am glad that you follow the news. I thought a man in your position does not waste his time with such things.”

“You should take that ring of Lena, it only shows weakness. It’s pathetic. How long has it been? Two or three months? You need to get laid, get rid of your female emotions. I would do it, but no, I have my principles.”

In that moment Lena wished that Kara was here, she would drag him out, put him in an ice cave in the Antarctic, where no one would find him. But she wasn’t and honestly Lena was sick and tired to listen to this man. Kara’s body was barely cold and he thought she would just jump with anyone else in bed? She would never ever sleep with anyone else nor kiss any other then her wife’s lips. _Never.  
_

But Kara was not here, so Lena pressed the button from her intercom.

“Jess, call security, Mister Edge won’t be needed here anymore.”

“Come on Lena, you can’t be serious. I was just joking, you seem so tense.”

She took her wedding of her left hand, holding onto with her dear life, before she punched him in the face.

“If you ever come back here, I will have you shipped into the deepest jungle of Brazil. I hope we understand each other.”

She silently thanked Kara for showing her how to throw a punch without hurting herself, putting her wedding ring on. No, there was no one else than Kara, not in a million years will she share a bed with anyone else.

 

* * *

 

_“Wait.” Lena unbuttoned Kara’s shirt, who was smart enough not to wear her Supergirl costume underneath and yet she stopped the brunette in her tracks. The look in her eyes almost killed Kara, and when she withdrew her hands, the blonde grabbed them._

_“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”_

_“No Lena you never could, I just…I need to tell you something. I thought I could go on without telling you, but I want to be honest with you.”_

_“You are married.”_

_“What? No!”_

_“So you don’t want to sleep with me?”_

_“Lena stop, of course I want to sleep with you!”_

_“You have a kink I need to know about?”_

_“Lena! It is nothing like that…I am… I am Supergirl. I am from another planet called Krypton and my name is not Kara Danvers, its Kara Zor-El. And I wanted to tell you now so you don’t think I take advantage of you, because I care about you. I wantd to be honest with you. Yeah.”_

_Kara shrugged her shoulders, completely missing the smile on Lena’s face._

_“I know.”_

_“You knew?”_

_“Yes I do ‘Miss I flew here on a bus’. You are not very subtle and you and Supergirl look at me the exact same way. I also memorized the way you smell, I know Kara and I don’t care.”_

_“You okay with it?”_

_“Only if you start taking my clothes off Supergirl.”_

* * *

 

“So Morgan Edge huh? What did he do that Lena Luthor loses her temper?” Alex walked into her office, protecting her face in case Lena would get startled again.

“Alex.” And yet Lena sounded so surprised. She was Kara’s sisters, of course she would come back to make sure that she was okay. It was such a Kara thing to do.

“I told you I won’t give up on you. I was surprised when the first news from you in a while is that you punched Morgan Edge in the face? And I must say, you did a good job.”

“Kara showed me how to throw a good punch so you should thank her.”

“And she got it from me, so you should thank me for doing such a good job.”

Lena’s face light up for a moment and so did Alex’s, before she sunk back down again.

“He told me to sleep with someone else since my wife died. He called it pathetic that I still wear my ring.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The older Danvers cleared her throat, trying to find the right words.

“You know Lena if you ever think about moving on, I…I won’t judge. And before you rip my head off, I don’t mean now. I don’t mean in a year or five, if you ever feel like you want to go back to dating again, I will be here. I want you happy and Kara would want you happy. She wouldn’t be happy seeing you like this till the rest of your life. She would want you to find someone else to be happy with, to have the children you talked about.”

And Lena wanted to rip her head off, wanted to tell her off, but in a way she understood where Alex was coming from.

“But you are wrong Alex that is what you don’t understand; I don’t want to be anyone else’s wife. I can’t imagine waking up to anyone else than Kara. I wanted to have her children, we were thinking about names, I wanted that with her, I cannot imagine having what we have with anyone else. I knew I wanted to marry her from the first moment I saw her. I saw her and I was lost for words for the first time in my life. And she felt the same way; she asked me out on a date right here in this office and it was the happiest day of my life. She was sitting right where you are now and asked me out, before she almost ran out because it took me so long to find the right words. Kara made me want to be someone’s wife, to have a family, to go home and not be here all day long. I never ached for this until she walked into my life. So I don’t ache to have this again with anyone else, because she was the one to make me want this in the first place. I am her wife and I always will be hers. I said yes to the good and bad times, so I will not take this ring off nor will I make promises to anyone else, because I am Kara’s and I don’t want to lose that, ever. I know what you are trying to say and I love that about you, but don’t underestimate the love I shared with your sister. No one can reach up to that. Kara set a very high standard.”

Alex was tearing up and Lena gave her a supportive smile.

“Can we still talk about the punch? You want some kick boxing lessons too?”

* * *

 

_Lena was so glad that Kara had no idea that six months was not the appropriate time to ask someone to marry them. She didn’t know who made up this time but six months was not it. Even one year was weird, two was appropriate, but she never been happier when Kara went down on one knee with the most beautiful ring she has ever seen._

_“Lena Luthor, would you do me the honour and marry me?”_

_She was so shocked, because this was so unexpected. Lena wanted to marry Kara, god how she wanted to be called her wife, but that Kara wanted the same so soon, it was too much for her._

_“Lena?”_

_The brunette was crying, looking down at her girlfriend, looking absolutely stunning in the floral suit._

_”Yes, god yes Kara, of course I marry you.”_

_She went down on both knees, crying happy tears and when she looked up, Kara was crying too. The blonde put the ring on her finger and it fit perfectly. Everything was perfect._

* * *

It was one of those lonely nights, when Lena was on her own in L-Corp. Living here wasn’t that hard. She used to stay one or two nights in a row here, working till midnight and not seeing a point to go home, but this was different. Lena had no idea when she last talked to a person outside of L-Corp about anything else than work, she was afraid to do so. All everyone ever wanted to talk about was Kara. She used to love to talk about Kara, but now she couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand the memory of something so perfect, knowing she wouldn’t come back to her. Kara _was_ her wife, she was long gone and Lena hated it. She couldn’t get herself to talk to someone about places the blonde used to take her, films they wanted to watch in the future. Lena looked out of the window like she did many nights before, nights when Kara would either sneak up on her and place kisses on her shoulder or land on the balcony to pick her up. If she closed her eyes hard enough so could feel those warm lips on her skin, but maybe it was just the scotch talking. She drank too much and didn’t sleep enough, but that was no secret anymore. Jess tried, she had a feeling that Alex called her daily to make sure there was a lunch bag in her office, but all it did was reminding her of Kara. That was something Kara used to do, even if she had no time, either order food for Lena or drop it in her office. The balcony belonged to Kara; the couch was Kara’s, the privilege to make Lena eat more than a salad belonged to Kara. The only reason Lena ever ate sugary food was Kara. She never felt like she fit anywhere. Lex was the only one that made her feel welcome when Lionel dropped her off at the mansion, until he lost his mind about Superman. And then she was alone again, having no one, no friends, no nothing until Kara walked into her life, giving her everything she could ever dream of. But Reign ripped it away from her. She had no idea how people expect her to move on from this. How do you survive when the reason for breathing got taken away from you?

* * *

 

**_3 months later_ **

 

L-Corp stopped breathing when a familiar red and blue blur walked into the main lobby. No one spoke and Kara walked to the lifts like nothing happened. The security let her pass without question, people getting out of her way, a few phones tried to take pictures, but the blonde didn’t care about that. She went up to the 25th floor, getting a few more gasps from some employees until she reached her destination.

“Jess.”

Lena’s secretary looked up, dropping the phone when she looked at Kara.

“Supergirl? I mean…Kara…I mean…Misses…what?”

“I know I don’t have time to explain. Is she here?”

Kara looked rough. Her hands were dirty from digging herself out, the suit still ripped from the places where Reign sliced her open. She could have changed, could have showered, but her looks was nothing she cared about now.

“She is. Um, she is not in a good place right now, obviously, just to warn you. I am not sure how she will take this, whatever this is.”

Kara nodded, acknowledging the information regarding her wife.

“Thank you, Jess. Can you make sure that no one comes in? No calls? The usual?”

“Of course, anything else you need?”

“No thank you just…thank you for looking after her, you always doing a great job.”

Kara had no idea what she felt when she opened the heavy wooden doors to Lena’s office. She was sitting in her usual place, head down, never realising when someone walked in unannounced. So many times they played this game, when Kara would sneak in, and Lena would only realise it was her when she started to kiss her neck.

“Lena.”

The brunette stopped her writing when she heard Kara’s voice. She did not dare to look up, couldn’t bear to look at her wife’s face.

“I am sorry, I am not ready yet.” 

Her voice was broken and Kara ached to hold her in her arms.

“Lena, it’s me.”

“I know that it’s you, but I am not ready, you need to give me more time. I try everything I can but I am unable to figure it out just yet.”

Kara took a step forward, confused about Lena’s word.

“Lena please, look at me.”

And she did, she swallowed, putting her pen down when she looked up. Lena gasped and so did Kara.

“Oh my god what happened to you?” The brunette jumped up, walking around the table to meet Kara. She looked horrible, her suit was dirty and ripped, and her hands too, dirt all over her face and hair. Lena tried to fix everything at once, wiping over her family crest until strong warm hands took hold of hers. The wedding ring was the only thing that sparkled and for a second Lena furrowed her eyebrows.

“You lost weight.” Lena looked tired; Kara could see it in her eyes. It was not only the dark circles under her eyes, the way her hands were shaking, the light in her eyes where gone.

“It does not matter. I am sorry for wasting your time darling; you have to come back later. I can’t come with you.”

Kara had no idea what Lena was talking about. Did she thought Kara was a ghost? She was here, alive, her heart was pumping and she was holding her.

“Lena I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“You said it’s not my time yet, that I need to save the world first.”

Kara blinked a few times, unable to understand anything Lena just said.

“I am sorry for disturbing you Supergirl, but I think you should turn the TV on.”

Jess voice ripped Lena out of her daydream. She moved towards her desk, grabbing the remote to turn on the news. It was a short video of Supergirl walking into L-Corp. There was a video of Supergirl untouched grave, but she was in Kara’s grave, where she belonged. When other people saw her, did that mean, that was she real? The penny dropped when she had a closer look at the blonde. She probably didn’t had her powers yet, hence the walk of shame to L-Corp and the dirty hands. Her suit was ripped and it looked so similar to the image she had in her when she needed to identify her.

“You died.” Lena started with a whisper, slowly working her way up. “You died fighting Reign, I watched you falling down that building right over there. I went into the morgue to identify you after Alex tried to resuscitate you for hours. I went to your funeral; I buried you, putting that ring back on your finger. ” Tears slowly made their way into her eyes, grabbing the remote so hard that her knuckles turned white.

“YOU DIED KARA!  YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD COME BACK AND YOU DIDN’T! YOU LEFT ME! HOW DARE YOU?”

The remote in her hand flew in Kara’s direction and shortly everything within reach follow after, her flowers, the organiser, she was so close to throw her laptop at the blondes head but Kara pulled her into her arms. Lena clenched her fists, trying to punch Kara; until the blonde hold her so tight that she had no way to fulfil her wish.

“I am so sorry Lena, so sorry for putting you through this.”

Lena’s hand relaxed, lying motionless on her body. She cried and so did Kara, holding her so close that Lena was able to feel Kara’s heartbeat. She had a heartbeat. Lena adjusted slightly, putting her palm over Kara’s chest. It was slow but strong, beating steady under her hand. She put the other one on her neck, two fingers on her pulse point.

“You came back.”

Kara had no idea what to say after coming back from the dead. She let Lena feel her heartbeat, hands lying on her back, just happy to be able to look at her wife again. And then all of sudden Lena pulled her in for a kiss, pulling her down until their lips meet. Kara was slow and gentle, while Lena hadn’t been kissed in over six months; she had a lot of emotions buried deep inside her. She kissed her wife so passionate and needy, that Kara buried her hands in her ponytail, slowing undoing it to bury her hands in the black mess of hair. Even without powers she almost lifted Lena off her feet, pulling her as close as possible, until Lena reluctantly pulled away, needing some oxygen to breathe.

“How is that possible?”  Lena shouldn’t ask questions, she was happy. Happy was an understatement, she felt so relieved but still, it has been six months and Kara looked so alive.

“Kryptonian DNA.” Clark came back, he died and he came back a few days later so Kara wasn’t that surprised. Of course she was, her aunt died and so did her husband, there was a way.

“Kara you have been gone for over six months.” There was so much pain in that sentence that Lena almost chocked on her words.

Kara on the other side was lost for words _. Six months_. That was half a year, 182 days, 4368 hours.

“WHAT?” She must be joking. “What day is it?” She turned around, waiting for an answer, before she walked over to Lena’s desk. Her laptop was still on and when Kara looked at the date she stopped breathing. 

“Your fight with Reign was…”

“It was in March and its September now.” Kara spoke more to herself than Lena, trying to understand why it took so long for her to come back. The video of her death vent viral and with a simple search she found it, it played but she just looked at the date, until Lena stepped forward to close it with one hand. She cried, she did not need another reminder how and when Kara died, not another one.

“I didn’t know, I am so sorry Lena. I didn’t know.” It would explain Alex reaction when she knocked at her door, when she was gone for that long.

“Don’t. I mean, I am so mad at you, you have no idea what you put me through but I missed you too much to care about this. But you should call your sister.”

“She knows. I went to her to ask for you. She said you moved in here and barely talked to her.”

Part of Lena was hurt that Kara went to Alex before she went to her, but it was closer so she did understand.

“What do you expect? Losing you was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I know I haven’t been fair to Alex but I couldn’t bear to look at her.”

“I wasn’t trying to …I don’t know, I am sorry Lena. I don’t know what happened.”

Kara was lost for words, unable to make sense of anything.

“It doesn’t matter. You haven’t got your powers yet, have you?”

“No, I walked here.”

Lena knew how much Kara hated exercise, even if it was just walking around the block. She leaned against her strong and warm frame, listening to her heartbeat.

“Oh Darling, you could have called.”

“No I wanted to see you.”

“So you thought walking into L-Corp after your disappearance was such a good idea?”

“We can explain how Supergirl came back; I don’t know what we do about the other part.”

“I figure something out. We should go to the DEO. You need a shower and sunlamps, lots of them. And don’t even try to argue with me. You do as I say or I will throw something else against your head. ”

* * *

 

Lena stood outside while Alex ran some tests on Kara. Truth be told, she was scared. Before she thought her wife’s dead was just a nightmare from which she would wake up soon, now she was worried that this was her actual nightmare, making her believe that Kara came back from the dead when in fact she didn’t. Alex and her looked at Kara like she was ghost, but her sister seemed to take on the news better than Lena. It seemed too good to be true, a Luthor never was that lucky. There was no way that Kara came back like that without any consequences. She also hated the way Kara looked at her, knowing exactly that something was going on in her head, making Lena believe that she could read her mind.

“You need to stop; I can’t get her to relax because she is too worried about you.”

Kara didn’t even have her powers and yet she could read Lena like an open book.

“I should go.”

She turned on her heel, but Alex grabbed her before she could run away.

“Lena please talk to me.”

“What if it’s not her?” Lena had Kara come home infected with Red Kryptonite, she had Bizarro in her bed and now her wife walked back into her life after she was confirmed dead. What if she wasn’t who she said she was? Lena still tried to wrap her around the multiverses, because it was a Kara from another universe.

“But what if is it? Trust me Lena, I thought it is too good to be true but I am not surprised anymore. It is her, it make sense in a weird way.”

“But what if she isn’t? What If I wake up in the morning just to realise that all of this is just another nightmare I have? I can’t do this Alex.”

“Do I have something to say in this?”

Both Lena and Alex turned around, seeing Kara standing leaning against the doorframe.

“Kara you need to go back under the sunlamps.”

It was the easiest way to push Kara away, putting her needs in front of her own.

“I am not going anywhere until you stop looking at me like that, like I am not real, like I don’t belong here.”

“No that’s not…”

“Yes it is, I heard you, I don’t have my powers but leaving the door open was not the brightest idea Alex.”

“And I am out.”

“Alex.”

Lexa tried to get Alex back, having someone here to protect her, not being so defenceless.

“Nope.”

“Tell me or ask me whatever you need me to, I will tell you anything Lena. I know this is hard, trust me I know, I have been gone for six months and its weird so please just talk to me.”

Kara looked and sounded like a vulnerable puppy. Lena always had the same thought when the blonde just had shower, getting rid of the armour, washing of the day, in her jogging bottoms and a simple white t-shirt. It was her favourite look.

“I am scared that when I wake up that you won’t be there, that this was just some sick joke. But when I look at you then I know it’s true. I just…I want reassurance that you will be there in the morning, that it’s you and not Kara from another Earth.”

There was too much space between them, but in a way Lena needed it and Kara knew it, she always knew what Lena needed.

“Then ask me, ask me anything you want.”

“I am not asking you what my favourite colour is.”

“Yes because everyone knows its red and blue.”

“Oh shut up.”

She bite in her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling, but she failed miserable when she looked at Kara.

 “Your favourite colours, trick question, are green and red. Green, because of your eyes, because I told you that I can’t look away when you wear green and red, which you usually match with your lipstick. You also very much like blue, which you want to wear more often, but you won’t because you think it’s my colour and that it doesn’t suit you, but it does, I like it very much on you.”

“I never told you that.”

 “You don’t have to. You are my wife Lena.”

There was no way that Kara was real, she had the same thought when they moved in, when Lena became her wife and realised how amazing and supportive the blonde was.

“What else? God Lena, you remember the first time we met? I don’t know about you but I fell in love the first time I lay my eyes on you. You bite Clarks head off and I was unable to look away from you. And then I asked you out. You remember? I am surprised I didn’t yell and I was more surprised when you said yes. I had to hide that I was Supergirl, which was so hard when I run back to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you so badly but I chickened out and I might have used my powers just a little bit because you were so close to shut the door on me.”

”Technically I kissed you, because I pulled you in.”

It felt surreal to talk to Kara about all those memories she tried to forget in the past months. She didn’t wanted to, she wanted to be harder on Kara, but the blonde had her wrapped around her finger just like that. Lena did not even realise how Kara came closer, step by step, slowly making her way into Lena’s personal space.

“Oh sorry that was like 90% me, I give you 10% credit but I did all the running. Oh and wasn’t it me who proposed to you? Alex called me a crazy fool in love when I showed her the ring but Rao I didn’t care. But you let me wait for so long, I worried I overstepped or read the situation wrong. I also know that you put something in my ring. You think you are so smart putting lead around it but I know and one day I will find out what it is.”

“Can I see it?” Kara was perplexed for a minute until she pulled her wedding ring off and handing it over to Lena. It was Lena Luthor after all; she probably marked it, other than her secret under that big diamond ring. And maybe she needed to look at it for reassurance, to make sure that this was the ring she put on her finger, that this was her Kara and that this was real.

“It’s a GPS tracker. I didn’t want you to feel that I control you but I was always worried about you. That’s how I found you when Reign killed you. I watched it for months after you died until I turned it off. Part of me wished I didn’t if I had known that you kept your promise and actually came back to me.”

She put it back on Kara’s finger, hesitated for a minute, still having her fingers in the cold jewellery.

“This reminds me of our wedding.”

“Yes I always wanted to get married looking like a tramp.”

Lena shook her head, trying to blink the tears away, being so mad at Kara for making her smile like that, when all she wanted to do was cry. She had no idea how beautiful she was.

 “You always look gorgeous darling.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Lena looked at the floor when Kara pulled her closer, one hand on her lower back, taking her hand into her own. She started swaying; humming their wedding song and the brunette teared up immediately after that. Just when she thought she couldn’t love her wife more, Kara always proved her wrong. Lena’s head was leaned against her chest, with Kara humming in her ear, hoping that this moment would never end.

“God, little Danvers still got game.”

Maggie waited for Alex’s response, only to see that she was crying as well.

“Oh Babe, come here.”

* * *

 

**_5 years later_ **

Shortly after Lena was pregnant, Kara stepped down Supergirl. She slowed down a little bit after the incident, but when Lena came home with the big news, Kara made the decision straight away that it was time for her to stop. Lena made sure that Kara actually wanted to, not only because of her, because she knew how much Kara loved being Supergirl, but the blonde already made up her mind. It worked out. It turned out that Kara actually really liked being a reporter; she might or might not use her powers sometimes for personal use but other than that there was not much she missed. She did not make a public announcement, to attract more enemies to National City, but they had an agreement that if necessary, Kara would help, until then Superman and J'onn had everything under control. Instead of listening for any emergency’s she listened to her sons heartbeat, hearing if he needed her. Lena still stood in the door way looking at her wife, wondering if this was real or the beginning of her next nightmare, for as long as it took Kara to turn around and pull her into her arms.

“So what’s the big news?”

Kara sat very close to Lena, her arm protectively around her back, their son playing with his aunt’s daughter.

“Come on guys, you already married, you have a very handsome son, what could it be? Did you buy another company? Are you finally getting a dog?”

They shared a look, blue and green eyes so deeply connected and when Maggie had a closer look at Kara’s body movement, how overprotective she was over Lena, more than usual, she gasped.

“Oh my god.”

It was only Alex who didn’t understand what was going on. Lena gave her a reassuring smile.

“I am pregnant.”

Pregnant with their second child. Lena felt blessed the first time, this just felt like a miracle. Maggie high fived Kara, while Alex locked eyes with Lena. Alex was the only one who understood how the brunette felt on some days, how she must feel now, being pregnant again. Kara was back, for a while now, but that pain would never go away, the fear of all of this just being in her head never went away.

The older Danvers pulled Lena in for a hug, being the one shedding tears instead of Lena.

“I am so happy for you.”

“It’s a girl. I…we want to name her after you.”

“What? No…what, you can’t do that.”

They could not name their son after her, having another Alexander Luthor in the family might have not been the best idea, but now that it was a girl, they might be able to play with it. The only reason Lena knew that she would get a girl was her dear wife, because Kara got so excited that she got another baby that she accidently yelled at her stomach that they would get a girl.

“I know it’s not our first born but it still might be something right?” Kara hugged Lena from behind, her head on her shoulder, looking at Alex with her big blue eyes.

It was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me!  
> [My tumblr](https://wonderwrath.tumblr.com/)


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